GMADA: FAQs

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

WHO ARE THESE MEN?
Many people, when they hear about GMADA, assume all 550 of us are one particular kind of guy. But the truth is we aren't all any one thing--except men.
This is who we are. Many of us are military veterans; several of us have spent time in prison; quite a few are in recovery from alcohol or drug addictions, and/or being abusive. About half of us grew up in families with abusive fathers, and some with abusive mothers and fathers; many became the son who wasn't going to walk in our father's shoes; but some of us followed in our father’s footsteps and a few of us are still struggling with issues of abuse and control. Some of us were lucky and our parents got it more or less right, and some of us have gotten it more or less right with our partners or in our marriages. About eighty of us are teenage boys; one of us is a current All-American football player and many of us are serious athletes. Many of us earn our livings with our hands, carpentry is the biggest category, plus plumbing, electrical, fishing, car repair, cooking, bartending, etc; a few of us are doctors, clergy, bankers, teachers, businessmen. Several of us are gay men. Several are bikers and custom car fanatics.

HOW OFTEN DOES YOUR ORGANIZATION MEET?
We are not so much an organization as an attitude. Small groups of us do meet to plan, do mailings, etc. A handful of us are “activists”, and we tend to meet in a scheduled way. . But our larger intention is for all of us to represent this attitude in our words and actions in our homes and where we work.

WHY DO YOU FOCUS ON MEN BEING ABUSIVE WHEN WOMEN CAN BE ABUSIVE, TOO?
This question comes from women just about as often as from men. We know that women can abuse men and children, and we know that women can abuse restraining order laws. But the vast majority of the problem, and the part we men can do something about, is abuse by men. When people say women hit men, we remind them that men we know have said they laugh when they are hit by a woman. On the other hand when women are hit by men the injuries are often terrible. We tell anyone who doesn’t believe us to talk with ambulance drivers or undertakers.

IS THIS APPROACH WORKING? [more]